Meta Banned!
by Leo Artemio
Summary: Meta Knight's been banned from tournaments, an event no one expected to happen. How do the Smashers take this news? And where IS Meta Knight, anyway?
1. Chapter 1

This was an idea that I first typed out intending it to be a one-shot when I heard about the banning on the day itself. Unfortunately, I stopped after a while, and now here we are a few weeks after the ban. So I may as well post this before it rots any more, and see if it's worth continuing.

Obviously, Smash Bros. and any/all franchises related to it don't belong to me.

* * *

><p>One morning, in the Smash Mansion lobby, there was a giant notice glued to the wall. The message was written in large bold black letters such that it would have been impossible to miss for anyone passing by.<p>

Unfortunately for whoever put the notice up, majority the Smashers had headed to the dining room first thing that morning. It was not until Toon Link had run into the foyer in order to escape from a rabid flock of chickens and tripped that someone finally stared at the notice with wider eyes than usual before running through the hallways trying to get everyone's attention. And even then, no one understood his hyperactive rambling, and assumed that Toon Link just had too much sugar for breakfast. Or maybe the chickens were still after him.

Eventually, though, an unwilling Kirby was dragged into the lobby by Toon Link. After also undergoing the same initial reaction, Kirby too ran through the hallways, shouting panicky 'poyo's throughout the mansion. And since Kirby often ate things that frightened him instead of running away, this got people's attention.

A few Smashers decided to follow the two to the lobby, then subsequently went to fetch more. Soon, almost the entire roster was gathered around the notice:

"**BY ORDER OF MASTER HAND, THE SMASHER KNOWN AS META KNIGHT IS OFFICIALLY BANNED FROM PARTICIPATING IN TOURNAMENTS FOR REASONS OF IMBALANCE. THIS BAN SHALL BE EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. OR UNTIL THE NEXT GAME COMES OUT."**

Everyone knew this wasn't like being banned from the kitchen or from the training room, or even like the time Charizard set the greenhouse on fire. This kind of thing had been debated amongst the Smashers for a very long time, and had almost been forgotten.

"I didn't think they'd actually do it…"

"Took 'em-a long enough, if you ask a-me…"

"Pika? Pika pikachu pi?"

"Estimated release date of next game: 4-5 years."

"Good thing we never had this happen in Melee, eh, Fox?"

"Listen, chimp, if this isn't the only time they do it, you or I could be next."

"Oo-ook…"

Far from the crowd in a corner of the lobby, a certain arrogant fat penguin was gloating to a saddened pink ball.

"This is it, Kirby, I just know it! Now I can finally climb back up the tier list without that Meta Knight keeping me down! AHAHAHAHA-"

"Poyo…"

"-hahahaha-wha? Don't tell you're concerned for the guy. He's been dominating the fights long enough, I tell ya, with his stupid fast attacks. It's time he let others shine for once. Like me, obviously."

Dedede then continued to laugh proudly over his inferred success while Kirby moped on the ground. Suddenly, Kirby perked up as though hit by a dazzling idea (though it could also be interpreted that it was lunchtime) and dashed off into a hallway.

Amidst the commotion, some Smashers brought up the topic that Come to think of it, Meta Knight was absent from breakfast this morning.


	2. Chapter 2

Author Notes: Decided to continue this after all; would you believe this is still getting page views after all this time? This fandom is bigger than I thought…anyway, I resolved to not post any other fanfic until I at least update this again, since I owe it to you guys who first read this. I'll_ try_ to update this at least monthly from now on, at least before we get the roster for SSB4 or something just as big and Smash-related.

Also, cover image technically belongs to Brawl in the Family...I just did some image editing so that it wouldn't be a total copy/paste.

* * *

><p>Later that day, Samus was looking for something decent to drink, only to find that all the beverages had been replaced with tea right after breakfast. She made a mental note to show no mercy towards Peach the next time they battled.<p>

"Poyo?"

"Hmm?" Samus looked down from the cupboard to see Kirby holding a sheet of paper full of blanks, with the words "Let MK back in!" scribbled on the top. It would have been an irresistably endearing sight to anyone who wasn't a hardened bounty hunter.

"Mmm, no deal, kid." Samus went back to looking for something that wasn't made by dipping a bag of dead herbs in hot water. "Try someone else."

Kirby blinked once. "Poyooo?" he said, with even wider eyes.

"Trust me, you're asking the wrong person." Samus didn't look back down; she knew what happened when you looked at Kirby's eyes when he was _trying_ to get you to do something.

That was the moment Marth walked into the kitchen. "I'm hoping anyone in here can tell me that Peach didn't - oh Goddess, it's _that _look again."

"Bad time to walk in, prince boy," said Samus, still sorting through the various containers in the cupboard. She heard the squeaky footsteps of someone who had turned to find another person vulnerable to the Look and started walking towards the helpless victim.

Marth bent down to read the paper in Kirby's hands. "You're going to wear those eyes out if you want to fill up this petition somehow, Kirby" he said.

"Exactly," said Samus, "no one really wants to fight him again. Too fast, too strong, press B until the announcer declares him the winner."

"You don't really need this," said Marth, patting Kirby on the head. "Meta Knight's not going anywhere just because the Hand says he can't go in the tournaments. There's still the usual fighting matches, and there's no rule that says he has to leave the mansion anyway."

"Poyo? Poyo!" Kirby brightened up, and then swallowed the paper.

Samus closed the cupboard, then turned to the two. "Still, if you think about it, Kirby here's the only one who really likes the guy around. Meta Knight's not the most approachable character in this place. I can't think of anyone else who'd care about him leaving."

Marth straightened up with a crease in his brow. "I'd care."

"Oh, _really_ now?"

"Of course! Meta Knight is an honorable warrior, and a worthy opponent in combat."

"Says the Melee top-tier placeholder."

"That's irrelevant here and you know it. The only reason people would dislike him is because of what he does on the battlefield, and that fault lies in the man who thought it was a good idea to design every moveset here by himself."

Kirby took this moment to cut in. "Poyo, poooyo poyo."

The two looked at him. "Are you sure about that? You might not like what you hear," said Samus.

"I say it's worth finding out," said Marth, "I'll even help you find everyone else and see what they think."

Samus directed her disapproval towards Marth as Kirby exited the kitchen. "This won't end well, you know."

Marth brushed off the comment and followed Kirby. Samus sighed, "Then again, nothing here ever does," and followed them as well.

* * *

><p>"No-a comment."<p>

"Poyo?!"

The Mario bros. were testing the Stage Builder parts that day. Usually, only one character was needed for the task, but Mario himself had once been summoned at every moment players needed to test their rickshaw creations. Since then, a yellow fighting alloy wearing a costume and voice chip has been used instead, and Luigi has been paired up with Mario on maintenance rounds to make sure that the Smashers never again find all the stage blocks pulverized to pieces in a fit of monotony-induced rage.

"Surely either of you two must have _something _to say about him," said Marth.

"He's-a scary with that mask…" muttered Luigi as he clambered up the edges of some props above the four of them.

Mario shrugged, then tested the walls of some of the blocks. "He's-a overpowered, to be-a honest. Some of us don't have-a fancy swords or bombs to fight against him-a well."

Kirby looked down on the ground dolefully. "Poyo?"

Mario turned around in a shock. "Mamma mia, I didn't mean-a that! It was-a bad enough seeing the Melee guys go when-a Master Hand cut them out."

"One of them was just you in a doctor get-up," retorted Samus.

"That's-a beside the point. This-a whole game was a chance for us-a Nintendo characters to get together, y'know? Even if we're-a fighting all the time, I don't like it when I see someone I've-a known for so long getting kicked out of here."

Samus huffed. "Yeah, I was there when you made that whole speech back in the first game, remember? Kirby too.…by the way, have seen Peach anywhere?"

"I-a think so," said Mario, musing over the question. "She-a had a bunch of Toads following her, all-a carrying bottles and cans. Not sure where she was-a heading…"

Luigi peeked out from a block above them. "She was-a headed to the disposal area, I think."

"That's-a right! The disposal area!" Mario exclaimed. But Samus was already halfway through the doorway, with everyone else watching her storm off.

Marth whistled with the knowledge that something incredibly violent and graphic was about to go down. Mario mulled over what happened, then asked Kirby, "The kitchen's-a full of tea again, isn't-a it?"

"Poyo!"


End file.
